Tuesday’s List

I swear I am not making this shit up. - – - – - – - – - I just littered it. That doesn’t sound good, Daddy. I decided this can be where he pokes the blood out. I guess the car dealer ship is in charge of all the cars.  Why do they...
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One of Hayden’s favorite stories is about the time I found snake poop in one of my kitchen cabinets. I never found the snake. He also loooves it when I tell him about having to take “paragark” (aka paragoric) when I was a kid.  There was no such think as children’s Motrin or even...
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Well, if this hasn’t been a blogging hiatus then I don’t know what is.  Almost a month since I have written anything?  Wow.  Good thing I never referred to myself as a writer.  In preparation for his approaching the mature age of five, Hayden has really been getting into music.  One of his favorite...
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I wish Hayden could type so he could just write this blog for me.  Between dealing with plumbing problems, 106 degree heat with a 1979 AC system, and a kid who is sick every 11.2 days, I am out of words.  It’s time for Tuesday’s List, dear readers. I’d appreciate another sandwich. I’ve been...
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Tonight, I am just going to relax and read my kindle.  I’m not going to water anything OR do any more laundry.  In fact, I am just going to pretend that this morning’s drama over serving waffles incorrectly never happened and focus on Hayden’s more entertaining side.  You’ll probably want to do the same....
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This kid doesn’t just rebound, he soars.  After forty-eight hours of antibiotics he was pacing up and down the kitchen, following me from room to room, and yapping away the entire time.  Animal noises, loud singing, story telling, you name it. I don’t think he has been awake and quiet for more than five...
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Poor little Hayden has a fever.  And a sore throat.  I knew something was wrong this morning when he wasn’t acting cute or funny.  But last week he was full of wit and charm, so here is the latest Tuesday’s List. Hotel managers are very important. I don’t thing that’s a very good place...
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Do we really need an introduction?  Okay, fine.  For the several hundred new readers I get each week who don’t know about Tuesday’s list, it is a list of some of the things my son said in the past week.  The older he gets, the more wise and entertaining he becomes. “Wipe me penis,...
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Can I watch TV? After school can I watch a show? Daaaddy, Mommy said I can watch TWO episodes of Olivia!  You get the idea.  My son is concerned with his next TV show likes it his last meal, so much that his little shows haunt me in my sleep (I woke up this...
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Okay, seriously, this child does not stop talking.  Which makes for good blog fodder interesting rides in the car.  I am fortunate to have a verbal child who often makes me laugh and always makes me think.  Here are some of the things Hayden said this week. Remember when I was three? Well, me...
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My child has officially become a little songbird.  He chirps along in his new big-boy carseat, chanting phonics ditties he learned at school and singing cartoon theme songs.  I love it almost as much as the funny things he says to me each day. I am going to marry Stella*, not Alyssa*. I suppose...
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Yeah, I am a little late.  I think I’m entitled. I’ll bet it smells like cheap cigars. No, YOU get a time out! Mommy, I love you. What if Earf sounded like Yerf? Probably when I grow up I will have a mustache like Daddy because when boys grow up they usually have mustaches....
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This kid never ceases to confuse humor me.  I can’t believe he actually says this stuff.  I couldn’t make this shit up! My dad said in Nork City tomorrow a big parade is going on there. Probably when Stella* is older she will grow a baby in her tummy. I am glad I don’t...
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Things have been a little feral around here this week. Lots of eating and destruction. And nudity. Such is the life of a four year-old. - – - – - – - – - - That is all the “better” I can do. Mommy, I think for Christmas you will get some tile.  From...
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