I Need Something To Wear

I remember being small and snuggling up to her lap, fingering her squishy chest and long gold necklace.  She would give me a squeeze and shrug her shoulders as she smiled, and I knew I was safe and loved. When I graduated from college she gave me a little wrapped box.  Inside was her...
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Those of you who come here regularly may already know that my latest quest for true bliss comes from the ground up.  I used to think that it came from the top down- that if I could just have good hair that nothing else would matter.  And while I haven’t given up on trying...
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I love shopping. KIDDING. I actually do not like shopping, I just like buying stuff.  I like new stuff that looks cool. And I like new clothes and new food and new books and new plants. I cannot always buy new things, so I do a lot of window shopping, mostly online and through...
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When I try on a pair of skinny jeans, I expect them to give me a camel toe. Not because that’s the look I’m after, but because nine times out of ten skinny jeans on a non-model equal encased sausage. Finding a pair of jeans that works is golden. My son, who is of...
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I am on a new “Program.”  No, I am not quitting cheese or wine or anything lame like that.  I am quitting shoes.  Sort of. You see, with each passing decade, my feet become flatter.  They have atrophied and spread out.  So what seems like growing feet are actually just like slops of raw...
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“Clara will be here in twenty minutes.  I’m going to go get ready.” Ten minutes pass. I clop/hobble out of the bedroom to go find a mirror, and Scott catches sight of me as I pass by. Are you going to wear those shoes like that? “Yeah!” (with false confidence)  “It’s totally in right...
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Just passing by an American Apparel store makes me feel dirty. And in LA, where American Apparel was born, there is an AA store on every corner.  Which means I am in constant need of a shower.  Or a confessional.  Or maybe both. Rarely do I actually go into an American Apparel store.  I...
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I hate panties almost as much as I hate bras.  Bras have always been frienemies of mine.  Despite winning an A+ in the chest category, I still don’t get the reward of going braless because, well, I am not 25.  And yet, 95% of the bras I try on are too big.  The rest...
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Summer is officially here. It’s HOT.  Which means shirts and swimsuits will be worn. Make sure you aren’t sporting any bikini spiders. *Ehem* Summer must be linky season because the fun just keeps rolling in.  I’ve already shown you pictures of my senior hotness, me as big as a house,  and my Axl Rose...
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I haven’t written about stuff I’m wearing (or would love to wear) in a long time, mostly because we are trying to save up for a house, so there hasn’t been a lot of shopping going on.  Plus, I have had plenty of more important things to write about, like the time I won...
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Today, I arose from The Sickness. I felt like a cross between a vampiress and Lazarus as I stepped out into the cold, sunny Los Angeles morning. My skin tone is leaning toward a sallow shade of chartreuse. It compliments what I’ve been hacking up each morning. I’m still not operating at 100%, but...
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I have already shared my anticipation of Blogher ’11, that I am super excited, but also a wee but anxious.  I mean, ALL the awesome bloggers will be there, including (I hope) the badasses on my Links page. Blogher is about becoming a better blogger.  Making connections.  Learning about all those bloggy acronyms like...
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It’s still eight long months away, but I am already losing sleep over it.  Big feelings of excitement, apprehension, anxiety.  Will I have an experience as great as everyone else?  Or will I feel lost amongst the veterans who already know what they are doing.  Or maybe I will make new friends?  OMG, what...
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Scott and I have another date night tomorrow (whoo hoo!).  In going through my closet in search of something casually sophisticated to wear, I was reminded that over half of the clothes I own have been altered to a certain degree.  Because, duh, nothing ever fits.  And then I remember that I can never...
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