A Beard Story
It was a nice day, so Hayden and I were at the park. We went for a run, rode the train, and were enjoying the sunshine. Hayden in his aviators, I in my grocery-store-favorites. I was doing a little stretching while Hayden played in the grass when I noticed a man woman, about 20 feet away, staring at us. She started saying something to me, and I half turned away, as I am rarely in the mood for conversation with a woman with a beard.
That’s right, I said she had a beard. There was salt and pepper hair all over her chin, and I don’t think it was just part of her whole I-belong back at-the-commune look. That shit was legit. Growing out of her chin. At least two inches long. Can you picture it?
She started walking toward me, pointing at Hayden, saying, “Can I tell you something about your baby’s sunglasses?” And before I could say no and run, she gave be a sermon about how terrible sunglasses are for my baby, they will ruin his eyesight, the research shows blah blah blah, UV protection is a farce blah blah blah, eye doctors are a sham blah blah blah, the human body has adaptations and the eyes will adapt to sunlight.
And I said, “Oh, like your beard? Is that some sort of adaptation?”
Okay, I didn’t actually say that. But I wanted to.