The Poop Goes On…
Hayden and I attempted a little outing to the park this morning. Since the big kids are already back in school, I knew it wouldn’t be too crowded, which is always annoying. Nothing like an over-sized nine year old barreling through a toddler-sized maze of playground equipment. I always want to turn to whatever adult is accompanying the kid (if there is one) and say, “Shouldn’t he be at soccer practice somewhere?”
We had a nice morning planned. Packed picnic lunches. Drove to the park and got to see some roadwork on the way, which always creates excitement. The park was pleasantly un-crowded . The temperature was un-pleasantly 90 degrees.
We did our best to have a good time. Within minutes Hayden asked, “Where’s the shade?” and wanted to eat lunch. At 10:30 am. I couldn’t fathom eating sandwiches and cheese at that hour, so while he ate a small portion of his lunch, I stood on bee watch. As it turns out, bees love almond butter.
We stuck it out another half hour or so and then went home for some shelter and pseudo AC. By then it was the real lunch time, so I offered Hayden the rest of his lunch. He drank some ice water and milk but didn’t eat anything else. Then he announced he had to go potty.
While he was in there, he called out to me that something was all wet. I immediately pictured him trying to wee wee standing up and got annoyed. I found him sitting down like a good little boy, poo poo in the potty, but naked with barf all over himself. On his tummy, legs, misters, and the toilet seat. My annoyance quickly turned to guilt and then concern.
Are you okay?
Does your tummy hurt?
Do your poo poos hurt?
No. Clean this off, Mommy!
The barf was mostly water with remnants of the almond butter sandwich. I assume he got overheated at the park and again offered ice water. He took a few sips. And then spit on me. On my face. It smelled like barf.
I have a naked, poopy, barfy two year-old who just spit on me. Why don’t I get paid to do this?