I Really Want To Break Up With You

August 27, 2010

Growing up, we were one of those families.  We were called “health nuts” back when it was considered weird.  We shopped at a place called Ye Seekers Horizon, with creaky wooden floors and a vitamin smell, where “treats” like carob and Tiger’s Milk Bars got me as excited as Christmas morning.  By the time Whole Foods opened its first Houston store in 1985 we could have owned half of Arrowhead Mills.  Whole Foods was a dream come true for the hippies and foodies, alike.

As I grew up I continued to practice what my mother taught me and did most of my shopping at Whole Foods.  I loved it- the smell of patchouli, the skinny dreadlocked employees, the sound of the blender whipping up shots of wheatgrass.  I took pride in where I shopped and what I ate and actually got excited to do my grocery shopping.  Thus, my long-term, almost-monogamous dedication to Whole Foods.

But Whole Foods, you have changed.  Your store doesn’t smell like patchouli anymore.  Your employees appear to be living on 365 Veggie Straws (potatoes are a vegetable, right?) instead of tempeh and kale salad.  When I shop at your stores, I feel like I am the one who is skinny and stinks.  Every time I go there I find you have discontinued another wholesome product that always kept me coming back to you.  Most of your produce now comes from several states or countries away, and half of the pears I bring home never ripen.  Just like Alex over at Late Enough, I am disheartened by your approach to “gourmet”.

I am so over you, Whole Foods.   You’ve let me down, and I really want to break up with you.  The sad part is that I can’t because there are still a handful of items I can only find in your stores.

I want you to know that I am seeing other stores.  I even get real California produce delivered to my doorstep every week for half the price of what it would cost from you (thank you CSA!).  All I need now is one of those co-op grocers.

Whole Foods, my twice weekly experiences with you have dwindled down to twice a month, and it’s an in and out deal.  No lingering, no fun.  I miss the way it used to be, but as soon as I can find what I need elsewhere it’s over.

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10 Responses to I Really Want To Break Up With You

  1. christy davis on August 27, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    is there a trader joes where you are? i love trader joes! you should try that one if you havne’t yet…they have a great wine called two buck chuck.

    hope you can find a new replacement.

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    Reply:

    shop there all the time 🙂

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  2. Alex@LateEnough on August 27, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    I adore this line: When I shop at your stores, I feel like I am the one who is skinny and stinks.

    Only thing I still love is that they compost. Even our hippie dippy local grocer doesn’t do that.

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    Reply:

    We just throw compostables out into the yard. Nothing grows down there, anyway.

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  3. Yaya on August 27, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    Outstanding! More people should rate the places where they do business so’s the businesses are reminded that if they don’t give what they promise, they will lose business. Kudos!

    ~ Yaya

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  4. Yaya on August 27, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    Help! None of your links take me to CSA; they take me to your posts, instead. I enjoy reading your posts, but please tell me what CSA is. Thank you.

    ~ Yaya

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    Reply:

    Yaya- CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture. Click on the Local Harvest link in the sidebar to find the CSA closest to you.

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  5. Holly B on August 27, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    We dont have a whole foods store anywhere close to Hooterville. We do however have a Kroger’s with a whole section for organic and health foods. Hey.. its as close as we will ever get.

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  6. jessicà on August 28, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    I cannot afford Whole Foods so luckily there will no tearful goodbyes bw us. Now if Baskin Robbins took away my mint chocolate chip there would be trouble

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  7. Rainbow Bright | The Sweetest on November 19, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    […] dissin’ The Gays and kids on cell phones and dog poop on the sidewalks and crap for sale at Whole Foods and weird weather had started to get me […]

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