Every Day Is a Fresh Start

September 30, 2010

We are drifting through the day without incident, until he begins kicking the back of the seat in the car.

No matter how many times I tell him No, he continues to kick.

No matter how many times I try to instill a sense of respect, with Kicking makes the car dirty, he continues to kick.

No matter how many times I talk about safety, with Kicking distracts Mommy while she is driving, he continues to kick.

No matter how many times I lose control and turn from the driver’s seat to grab his leg and “make” him stop kicking, he continues to kick.

So we will have a time out as soon as we get home.  A time out that may or may not make an impact.

The kicking incident seems to set a downward spiral into motion, in which the worst of each of us comes out…

Kicking… time out… nap refusal… Mommy pick me up… I need milk… I SAID I need some milk… throwing food… another time out…I don’t want to play with any toys… Mommy pick me up, PICK ME UP!.. watching way too much TV… running from me at bath time… me forcing the toothbrush past the little fists blocking his mouth, brushing a little to roughly… an all-out screaming crying fit over nail trimming… me screaming over nail trimming.

And then it’s over.  His teeth are sort-of clean.  And the nail trimming didn’t hurt.  And he instantly smiles, and exhales deeply in relief.  We read a book.  We go potty.  He gives me kisses, and I tuck him in.  He seems to have made it through this tumultuous day unscathed.

But as soon as I turn out the light and whisper Good Night, the tears come.  Tears of relief, regret, fatigue, and love.

Tomorrow we will start fresh.

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4 Responses to Every Day Is a Fresh Start

  1. elle on September 30, 2010 at 10:07 am

    sending you big hugs through the computer!

    you’re a good mother- remember that.

    [Reply]

  2. pattypunker on September 30, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    aaaawww. sometimes are more trying than others, but it’s always counterbalanced with pure unadulterated joy. and elly is right, you are good mother!

    [Reply]

  3. kris on September 30, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Ack.

    I don’t suppose you have a minivan?

    Kallan went through a stage where she would kick ferociously at the back of my seat when she was angry. And you have captured the series of events that followed that kicking? Very well.

    What I did was move her into the very back of the minivan.

    She hated it back there.

    And that solved the kicking problem.

    But I didn’t think of that solution at first. So there was a stretch where I had some very angry drives and some bad mommy days.

    Sigh.

    Wishing you a fresh start tomorrow.

    Hate needing a fresh start.

    But sometimes it is required.

    Love you.

    [Reply]

    thesweet Reply:

    Oh, and just today I was actually considering a mini-van for our next car purchase. Which will be in about ten years, since we bought a new “crossover” just a few years ago. How annoying is that term? xo

    [Reply]

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