Since When Is It Not Okay To Have Feelings?
I really have something I need to get off my chest (as if I don’t do that here already).
Lately, I have been getting numerous “comments” to my posts that are, well, more like messages of a personal agenda to save me. Comments from readers that they are worried about me and will be praying for me.
Because if I write about feeling conflicted, or sad, or lonely, or frustrated, or just damned grumpy, then I must have lost my way with God. Because, clearly, if I was right with The Lord, I would never feel conflicted, or sad, or lonely, or frustrated, or just damned grumpy. I would never question my own parenting methods, or feel badly about myself, or be dragged down by fatigue. Because I would have given it all to The Lord.
I don’t experience these things because I have lost my way. I experience them because I am human. And I address them because I am honest. And because I want to write. I want to write, whether it’s about a shitty day I had or about how I made the perfect soup or how my son made me laugh ’til I peed my pants. Because all of these things are part of me. Part of my life.
Writing helps me deal. Helps me feel connected.
Am I sounding defensive? I don’t want to, but I feel the need to explain myself and my voice. If this is beginning to sound like a public response to some personal comments, well, it is. One I wanted to share with all of you.