Faded Lines

January 10, 2011

“Scott!  C’meer! ”

“What?”

“There’s a line!  Look!”

“I don’t see it.”

“Yes, you do.  It’s really faint, almost a shadow.  See?”

He picks it up, turns it this way and that in the light.  Puts it down.

“I don’t see it.”

I pick up a bobby pin to use as a pointer and show him where to look.

“Look, it’s right here.  I mean, it’s really just a shadow, but it’s totally there.  See?”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t see it.”

“That’s okay, because it’s still really early, and a few days from now when you see the line I will say I told you so.”

Each day I look for the line, and eventually, it surfaces.  Faint, yet clearly visible.  Scott sees it.  And each day the line gets a teeny bit darker.  We start to let ourselves envision the future.  Start planning.  And then we get the news.  Again, things will not unfold as we’d hoped.

I wait for the inevitable as I watch the line slowly fade, little by little, until it is gone.

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22 Responses to Faded Lines

  1. Natalie on January 10, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Oh, I’m sorry. I remember those days and they’re rough. Love to you guys.

    [Reply]

  2. Elly Lou on January 10, 2011 at 10:21 am

    You’re a possibility. A probability even! Maybe the line will be back?

    [Reply]

  3. elle on January 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    🙁

    …that line will eventually appear, and stay. and when it does, i can’t wait to read about it. love to you and scott <3

    [Reply]

  4. Ginger on January 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    Oh I’m sorry. I hope the line shows for you soon!

    [Reply]

  5. Ameena on January 10, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    My heart really goes out to you! I truly hope you see the line soon. And I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!

    [Reply]

  6. Motpg on January 11, 2011 at 8:07 am

    Oh, I’m sorry too. I hope it happens very soon : )

    [Reply]

  7. pattypunker on January 11, 2011 at 11:03 am

    i got a black sharpie and am drawing that line so it won’t be missed or ever go away!

    [Reply]

  8. Ash on January 11, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Oh honey, my heart hurts for you. May you see that line grow darker and darker very soon.

    [Reply]

  9. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Carrie Meadows, Carrie Meadows. Carrie Meadows said: Faded Lines http://t.co/Z84Rq6v […]

  10. subWOW on January 13, 2011 at 12:36 am

    {{{{hugs}}}}

    We are rooting for you, right outside the bedroom, can’t you hear us?! Oh, maybe that’s the problem. Ok. I will leave you two love birds alone now. Promise! 🙂

    I know you are sad and disappointed, but I need to tell you: this is a piece of brilliant writing.

    [Reply]

    thesweet Reply:

    We will keep on trying- husband definitely won’t complain 🙂
    You comment made my day, btw- a huge compliment, coming from you. Thank you.

    [Reply]

  11. Kris on January 15, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    As sad a story as this is, it is not an ending.

    I cannot wait for the rest of the story.

    And the writing here?

    This prelude?

    It’s just exquisite.

    Wow.

    [Reply]

    thesweet Reply:

    Thanks, Kris. There is something about telling the story that seems to make whatever is happening easier to handle. And words of encouragement from people I admire don’t hurt, either.

    [Reply]

  12. kim on January 16, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    I can so clearly remember waiting for that line. It’s the longest wait. The most beautiful line. I’ve saved many lines, even after they’ve faded, so I understand the hope. All the best to you — and yes, there is the fun in trying, no?? 🙂

    [Reply]

  13. undomestic housewife on January 18, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    Hopefully that line appears for you soon. I’m waiting for my husband to be okay with us starting to try for a baby, and I know how much waiting sucks.

    Found you from Pretty All True’s Featured Bloggers list..

    [Reply]

  14. Kimberly on January 20, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    That line means so much and I wonder if the makers of those pee sticks know the power that the second line holds. ((hugs))

    [Reply]

  15. […] be one of those food blogs for moms and anyone else who needs to eat.  (Obviously, I’ve got a lot more to write about than food.)  Since then I have written almost one hundred posts inspired by my love […]

  16. Angie @ The Little Mumma on April 23, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    Firstly, a gorgeous piece of writing. Truly.

    Secondly, hugs. Trying to conceive is a terribly difficult time.

    Hang in there. And keep writing.

    [Reply]

  17. SoberJulie on April 23, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    I can recall countless sticks such as these, for us there was so many with one line that we’d given up until that last one with two lines. I will be praying for you here.

    Stopped in from TRDC

    [Reply]

  18. Frelle on April 23, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    been there, rooting for you!

    [Reply]

  19. MamaRobinJ on April 24, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Beautifully expressed. I’ve never experienced that but I can just imagine how it feels. Will hold on to hope for you.

    [Reply]

  20. […] been with me for awhile know about the loss I’ve experienced (if not, you can read about it here and here). For almost two years we have tried to have a second child.  I have been pregnant three […]

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