Speaking Of Boobies…
Hayden is almost three and a half, and his enthusiasm for human anatomy is growing as rapidly as he is. Why, just the other day he felt compelled to ask me if his pediatrician had a penis. And if the female pediatrician in the office had a vulva. You know, just making sure. At least he’s getting the parts right.
Any anatomy will do, really. He loves looking at pictures of human skeletons, anatomical charts, and asking the names of different organs. Animal parts are just as exciting. Today, he was perusing one of his books and stopped on a page about farm animals. He pointed to a picture of a big sow with way-too-visible, bulging udders the size of half gallon jugs. As I was turning away from the hideousness of it, he exclaimed, “That pig’s got four penises!”
A split second of silence while I gathered my composure.
“Honey, those aren’t penises. Those are boobies. And there are probably four more on the other side. She has eight boobies.”
A full second of silence while my son processed the EIGHT BOOBIES.
“And do you know why she has eight boobies? Because the baby pigs drink milk from them.”
Hayden’s jaw dropped.
“Did you know, that when you were a baby, you drank milk from my boobies?” (I spared him the details, but you can read about that painful endeavor here. Come right back because this story’s not over yet.)
A long moment of silence while my son processed this.
And then, with a huge smile on his face, like an “Ah ha” moment, he said, “Oh, Mommy that’s silly!”
Speaking of boobies, I am over at This Blogger Makes Fun Of Stuff today talking about mine. Check it out.