Speaking Of Boobies…

March 2, 2011

Hayden is almost three and a half, and his enthusiasm for human anatomy is growing as rapidly as he is.  Why, just the other day he felt compelled to ask me if his pediatrician had a penis.  And if the female pediatrician in the office had a vulva.  You know, just making sure.  At least he’s getting the parts right.

Any anatomy will do, really.  He loves looking at pictures of human skeletons, anatomical charts, and asking the names of different organs. Animal parts are just as exciting.  Today, he was perusing one of his books and stopped on a page about farm animals.  He pointed to a picture of a big sow with way-too-visible, bulging udders the size of half gallon jugs.  As I was turning away from the hideousness of it, he exclaimed, “That pig’s got four penises!”

A split second of silence while I gathered my composure.

“Honey, those aren’t penises.  Those are boobies.  And there are probably four more on the other side.  She has eight boobies.”

A full second of silence while my son processed the EIGHT BOOBIES.

“And do you know why she has eight boobies?  Because the baby pigs drink milk from them.”

Hayden’s jaw dropped.

“Did you know, that when you were a baby, you drank milk from my boobies?”  (I spared him the details, but you can read about that painful endeavor here.  Come right back because this story’s not over yet.)

A long moment of silence while my son processed this.

And then, with a huge smile on his face, like an “Ah ha” moment, he said, “Oh, Mommy that’s silly!”

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Speaking of boobies, I am over at This Blogger Makes Fun Of Stuff today talking about mine.  Check it out.

 

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9 Responses to Speaking Of Boobies…

  1. Laura Timanus on March 2, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    Musthard! Don’t let’sth be sthilly!

    [Reply]

  2. Tim@sogeshirts on March 2, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    Bill Cosby was right. Kids really do say the darndest things. Lmao at the pig has four penises and I love his Oh mommy that is silly comment at the end. Too funny.

    [Reply]

  3. MamaRobinJ on March 2, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    Hilarious! We have a book with a cow that has an udder, and C takes great delight in pointing it out every time. I don’t think he knows what it’s for though 😉

    [Reply]

  4. Jules on March 5, 2011 at 7:59 am

    That was funny! Keep this for when he’s older. It’ll be fun to remind him!

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    thesweet Reply:

    Hopefully he won’t be angry when he’s older because I publicized all the silly things he did as a child 😐

    [Reply]

  5. Jonah Gibson on March 5, 2011 at 10:35 am

    True story: My dad was a country veterinarian, and my mother kind of a looker. One day a farmer came to the door of the house. Dad was out on a call. The farmer had a cow that had stepped on one of her teets and needed stitching up. Cowed by Mom’s beauty, (sorry–couldn’t resist) the farmer for some reason decided that he shouldn’t use the word teet in her presence. (Should probably mention that everyone in the area pronounced it tit, and that may have been his problem) Searching his memory for the proper term, which ironically was of course ‘teet’, or ‘tit’ in the vernacular, the farmer came up with this. “I need the doc to come out and see to my cow. She stepped on her penis.” I have no idea what that guy would have done with ‘boobies.’

    [Reply]

    thesweet Reply:

    Hilarious story! But I can’t understand how any living thing could step on her own boob.

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  6. Random Girl on March 5, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    This is hilarious! They are too smart for their own good sometimes. My daughter never ceases to ask the most valid yet embarrassing questions, usually in a very public place with lots of people around. Awesome!

    [Reply]

  7. Aimee on March 8, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    My boys are teenagers now, which makes this twice as odd, but they both have been known to voluntarily tell their friends, “Dude, check it out, my mom breastfed me for, like, a whole year!” I don’t get the fascination with that, but okayyyyy.

    [Reply]

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