Forever Changed

May 18, 2011

Motherhood is full of things they never tell you about.

Nobody told me that my body wouldn’t do what nature intended and that I would go through 30+ hours of painful labor, only to end up with a c-section and pre-eclampsia.

Nobody told me that my boobs would be like dry watering holes, cracked and void of anything to drink.

That I would mourn my inability to breastfeed for over a year.

Nobody told me that I would become so frustrated with my baby’s endless crying that I would become angry, throwing tantrums and empty bottles that didn’t help.

That I would just leave my baby in his crib to cry, while I shut myself in my bedroom to do the same.

Nobody told me that my pledge to not spank my child would turn out to be so difficult to adhere to.

That even though the thought of physically hurting my child makes me sick to my stomach, I would still feel urges to use force and that I would hate myself for it.

Nobody told me that as my child got older my house would actually get messier.

Nobody told me to watch out for Legos.

That if you trip and fall on one, it will split your knee open.

Nobody told me that I would have to buy new kiddies shoes every three months.

That my son’s feet would look exactly like my husband’s.

And that his smile would resemble mine.

Nobody told me how good it would make me feel when my son laughed.

How good it would make me feel to be able to comfort him when he fell down.

Nobody told me how smart my son would be.

That I would cry when I saw his artwork on the wall at his preschool.  That I would resist the urge to brag- because him being so smart is not all because of me.

Nobody told me that when the morning light caught my son’s cheeks he would look like an angel.

That I would want to drink in the salty smell of him in a deep sleep.

Nobody told me how much I would see my husband in my son.

That each time he did something sweet, something beautiful, I would be reminded of the man I am married to.

Nobody told me how the struggles of motherhood could fade away with just one hug.

How I would be forever changed.

 

Since every day of the year should be Mother’s Day, I included this post in the Mother’s Day May Blog Tour, in which participating bloggers are writing about Motherhood for the entire month of May.  Tomorrow, check out Debra’s post at Write On Target.

 

 

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9 Responses to Forever Changed

  1. Ali on May 18, 2011 at 5:21 am

    Beautiful post. Being a parent is SO HARD sometimes. It is amazing though how you can go from being so frustrated with your kiddo and with a hug or a kiss all the frustration goes away.

    [Reply]

  2. Elly Lou on May 18, 2011 at 7:34 am

    Damn hormones. I have something in my eye. Or my uterus. Whatever. *sniffle*

    [Reply]

  3. ChristineMarie on May 18, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    *swoon*

    Looooooove this!! So true. So sweet.

    Also…why are Legos so painful?! Who designed those things anyway??

    Thank you so much for joining the hop! Fantasic post!

    [Reply]

  4. CJ on May 18, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    I have so felt all of this. It’s beautiful and comforting and grueling and terrifying all at the same time, this Motherhood thing.

    [Reply]

  5. Motpg on May 19, 2011 at 7:07 am

    This is “The Sweetest” : )

    [Reply]

  6. Kir on May 19, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    this was so beautiful…I followed you over here from Studio30…and wow, your words are just gorgeous.

    Motherhood changes us in so many ways and I know every single day I am learning how to be better, do better…find myself in mothering.

    This was just beautiful 🙂

    [Reply]

  7. Erin on May 19, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    Thanks for commenting today so I could come find your lovely blog! Love it!!

    [Reply]

  8. Tina on May 19, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    So honest and beautiful! I often wondered why we as women and mothers aren’t more honest with each other about motherhood. So thank you!

    [Reply]

  9. Stephanie on May 27, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    This is so beautifully written. It makes me want to a mom, too.

    [Reply]

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