Little Girls Need Girdles, Too

July 18, 2011

I hate panties almost as much as I hate bras.  Bras have always been frienemies of mine.  Despite winning an A+ in the chest category, I still don’t get the reward of going braless because, well, I am not 25.  And yet, 95% of the bras I try on are too big.  The rest are uncomfortable or look terrible with my clothes.

The whole panty thing just confuses me.  The whole point of panties is to COVER.  I want my cheeks cradled.  Completely encased.  Because I want people to notice my cute jeans, not the four sections of rear that have been created by panties that ride up my butt cheeks.

I want briefs.  Briefs that come up to my waist.  Because despite being small everywhere else, I have a growth just under my belly button that must be contained.  It’s making my boobies jealous.

Vicky, Vanity, and Maiden have all decided that small women have different needs than larger women.  That we love less coverage.  That we love thongs and pantylines and camel toes and wedgies.

This must be the case because in my never-ending quest for the perfect cotton brief, I have sadly discovered that it’s just not out there.  They don’t make any in my size.  Awesome cotton girdle tummy-hugging leg briefs?  Only M and L.  They don’t come in a small.  And the ones that do make me look like I am playing dress up in my grandmother’s old underwear.

I know that women who are more blessed with voluptuousness have a right to complain about their containment options as well, but I am feeling overlooked.  I fantasize about getting a tummy tuck and wearing all the lowcut bikinis I see in department stores, but I know this will probably never happen.

Where can a little girl woman get a decent pair of briefs?

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3 Responses to Little Girls Need Girdles, Too

  1. Kir on July 18, 2011 at 11:00 am

    LOL…I do love Victoria’s Secret Briefs…the Body ones , not the cotton. I mean they FEEL so good against your skin.

    I also love the Briefs I get at JCPenney…but I can’t remember who makes them…like Ambriele or something like that..

    good luck…although I am SURE you don’t need these bigger cut panties like I do. 🙂


    thesweet Reply:

    Ok, FINE. I’ll look into Vicky’s secret briefs. But she is still on my bad side.


  2. You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... on July 20, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    i get my underwear at Target and TJ Maxx. because i like to keep things real.


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