What I Learned From BlogHer

August 8, 2011

Yes, this it yet another BlogHer11 post.  My apologies to those who are sick of it.

As I mentioned many times before, this was my first time to attend a blogging conference.  I was filled with fear and dread and excitement and ambivalence at the same time.

Yeah, I didn’t know that was possible, either.

Having made it through without sustaining any injuries or burning any bridges, I am now a self-proclaimed BlogHer expert, one who will dispel the myths and give it to you straight.  Sort of like the tequila I was drinking Friday night.

Myth Number 1: You must have the most awesomest shoes because that’s the first thing people notice about you.

In almost four days of being surrounded by women, only twice did someone comment on my shoes.  And I don’t know about you, but when I meet someone I tend to look at her face, not her feet.

Myth Number 2: Your clothes are uber-important because BlogHer is actually a fashion conference.

Perhaps when BlogHer was in New York the fashionistas were giving out citations to bloggers in heels under an inch high, but San Diego embraced all bloggers, regardless of what they were wearing.  After  rushing around to gather up cocktail dresses and just the right layering pieces, I spend the majority of the time in my faded jeans.  All I had to do was change my shoes, and viola!  The same outfit went from day to dinner in a snap.

Myth Number 3:  After attending BogHer,you will learn the secret to a successful blog.

Some of the seminars at BlogHer were outstanding, such as Blogging Your Way to Self Acceptance, in which Mr. Lady and Brene Brown gave me over an hour of free therapy and had me wanting to yell AMEN from behind my iPad, and How To Write a Kickass Proposal which basically confirmed that all this time I have been doing it wrong.  Some of the seminars were not so outstanding and were better suited for people thinking about starting a blog rather than those who, like me, have already been doing this for while.

Myth number 4: Attending BlogHer will improve your popularity and your numbers.

If you go to BlogHer thinking that you will meet soooo many people and eeeeveryone will learn about your blog and love it and when you return on Monday you will find that your following has tripled?  You are wrong.  But you will meet a lot of bloggers who have awesome blogs, and the number of blogs in your reader will triple.

Myth Number 5: The parties are everything.

There are private, company-sponsored parties that coincide with the BlogHer conference and an implied message that if you are invited to these parties you are all that, and if you are not then you should just go back to writing Dear Diary.  And this is soooo not true.  Are these parties fun?  Some of them are.  And some are overrated.  And some of the conference parties, which are open to everyone, are just as fun as the private parties.

Myth Number 6: If you don’t attend everything, you will be missing out.

I have not known fatigue like I felt at BlogHer in a long time.  I simply cannot party all night, wake up at 6 am to attend seminars and socials all day, and then do it all over again.  I skipped a lot of stuff and retreated to the pool pr to my room.  And I honestly don’t feel like I missed out on anything.  My motto is, choose your company and events wisely, and screw the rest.

Myth Number 7: Bloggers in person are just like they are online.

Meeting online “personalities” can be a little intimidating.  I know I was worried people might view me differently after meeting me in person.  There will be bloggers who snub you and bloggers who do not meet your expectations.  And that’s okay, because there will be others who far exceed your expectations.  And bloggers you didn’t even know but can’t imagine an online-life without.  When you find that group you click with, it’s beautiful.  And inspiring.  And funny.  And opens the door for future shenanigans.  And you, ladies?  You know I’m talking to you.



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18 Responses to What I Learned From BlogHer

  1. Jules on August 8, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    LOVED hanging at the pool and the parties with you! I had so much fun it’s crazy!


  2. Lexa on August 8, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    Even though I am a very tired jerk who flaked on talking about you in my post, you were a wonderful part of my weekend. So nice meeting you.

    Please don’t jump off any balconies.


  3. Mandy_Fish on August 8, 2011 at 6:31 pm

    It’s about the relationships, just like blogs! Isn’t it funny how it works out that way? This was really a special weekend and was good for me in so many ways. I didn’t even know I needed it, but I did.

    I’m a total BlogHer convert now.


  4. Leigh Ann on August 8, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    Sounds like a great time! I would totally sweat the fashion bc I’m a plain jane tshirt and jeans girl. And flip flops. I can’t hang with the expensive and uber stylish girls!


  5. Morgan B. on August 8, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    This was an awesome post-BlogHer post. Even though I tend to lean toward the shoe-complimenting and fashion-conference side, I couldn’t agree more. It was wonderful to meet you and I hope to see you again soon! xo


  6. Jurgen Nation on August 9, 2011 at 6:06 am

    I absolutely adore you and I’m so glad we met. I loved hanging out! You were definitely one of the brightest parts of my weekend. 🙂


  7. Elly Lou on August 9, 2011 at 7:08 am


    Still bummed. But glad you enjoyed it. Now maybe I’ll be able to meet you in 2012? Where’s it going to be?


    thesweet Reply:

    NYC- you’ve got no excuse, now 🙂


  8. Brooke on August 9, 2011 at 9:40 am

    It was great to meet you. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one a little disillusioned by some of the seminars.


  9. Kir on August 9, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    I am so glad you had such a good time and found time for a little bit of everything!

    Now I make it my mission to get u to NYC next year!!!!


  10. Erin on August 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    You were awesome and hilarious! I only wish we could have hung out longer. And I totally agree – I haven’t been as tired as I was after BlogHer in a LONG time.


  11. You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... on August 9, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    You’re right. Before BlogHer, I heard women left and right talking about the shoes, the shoes, the shoes and how important they are. But not once did I hear someone commenting on shoes. And as for style, anything goes, day and night.

    I have to admit, I’m pretty bummed that I didn’t get to network more. i was hoping to spread the TILTE biz card around and collect deets from a bunch of bloggers I’d never heard of. I DID connect with some new people, but I guess I was just hoping for more.


    thesweet Reply:

    I know! I spent so much money on HUNDREDS of business cards with hundreds left over. I guess because I didn’t pass them out like the perfume ladies a the mall, shoving them in people’s faces.


  12. pattypunker on August 10, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    so bummed. i’m with elly. i’m meeting you next year at this thing. come hell or high water. and we’ll raise hell and drink high balls. ok that last part was lame but it came to me and i went with it because i have a sunken heart.


    thesweet Reply:

    Well, it was funny enough to make me laugh. But you tend to have that effect on me.


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  15. Kelly on August 21, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    Thanks for your kind words about the session I spoke on. I hope you know that even if you are doing it wrong, that we all did too. That’s why we all wanted to talk about it so much, because we had to learn the hard way. Hopefully it will help. If you have any questions in the future, feel free to reach out!


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