From Savages to Sandwiches

October 5, 2011

When Hayden was a baby I adamantly adhered to the “no TV before two” rule.  He did not watch TV, and we were very careful about not having the TV on when he was in the room.

Once he turned two?  It was game-on.

Thomas.

Wonder Pets.

Little Bear.

Calliou.

And then we moved on to other shows because twenty minutes was not long enough.  I needed more screen time.

Sesame Street.

Sean the Sheep Marathons.

Full-length movies like Cars and Robin Hood (The original cartoon, of course. Which, By the way, is hilarious. Dial it up!)

I am still picky about what he watches.  I overrule a lot of stuff because I think it’s tacky, I find the characters to be crass, or it just plain annoys me.

But we have reached a plateau.  Hayden has watched Cars and Robin Hood so many times that he could quote those movies in his sleep.  And I think he sometimes does.

So the other day when I really wanted to finish scrubbing the previous owners glue off of the brick fireplace and he turned his nose up at the old standbys?  I let him choose a movie from The Drawer.  Where we keep all of the adult videos grown-up movies and kids movies that are too old for him.

His first choice was Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (don’t as me why we have that- it’s still in the cellophane wrapper), but I said Negative because I was afraid it might s-c-a-r-e him.  Hell, the character in the front looked scary enough to me.

We settled on Pocahontas.

Rated G.

Nice singing.

Cute forest animals on the front.

How bad could it be?

If I had actually seen it before I would know, but since it, too, was still in the cellophane… (where do these DVDs come from?)

He watched it.

He didn’t ask to turn it off (which he has done before).

He didn’t seem to be harmed in any way.

But I knew the story was way over his head, and this was confirmed the next day when I heard him singing, “Sandwiches! Sandwiches!”

Hayden, what’s that song?

“From Pocahontas!”

Oh damn.

**spoiler alert**

(because I know you all are just dying to rent Pocahontas)

In the movie the Europeans sing a nasty song about Pocahontas and her people in which the chorus goes, “Savages! Savages!”

And their voices and faces are filled with hatred.

Yes, I know.  A sad reality.

But from Hayden’s perspective?

Somebody had better get those people the right sandwiches or somebody’s really going to get hurt!

I think it’s time for his first American history lesson.

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15 Responses to From Savages to Sandwiches

  1. Chunky Mama on October 5, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    ALL of the Disney movies seem to have questionable moments. I stopped letting my 4yo watch “Tangled” (which he LOVES) because at the end, the witch STABS someone. It’s a bit much.

    If your family celebrates Christmas, I’d recommend The Polar Express. It has been a favorite in our home for about 2yrs now, and we watch it year-round. Also, Kung Fu Panda. It has a LOT of Kung Fu action, but the “bad guy” story line is minimal. I let my almost-2yr olds watch it with their brother, and I feel ok about it.

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    thesweet Reply:

    I’m getting on the queue right now…

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  2. Suniverse on October 5, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    AH! Sandwiches! I would totally sing that.

    I hated so many of the tv shows when the girl was small. I LOVED Bear in the Big Blue House [is that still on? Find it. You’ll thank me.] and Arthur. And Mr. Rogers. Anything that was soothing.

    Do not, for all that is holy, watch the movie of Thomas and the Magic Railroad. I love Alec Baldwin like nobody’s business, but he is going to hell for being in that movie.

    PS GO GET THAT VELVET JACKET! We’ll form a club.

    Thanks for stopping by!

    [Reply]

    thesweet Reply:

    Mr Rogers was so awesome. Maybe I can find if on Netflix?

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  3. Mandy on October 6, 2011 at 10:01 am

    I was just screaming “SANDWICHES” myself but no one would make me one, savages.

    [Reply]

    thesweet Reply:

    We just went out for sandwiches for dinner. Ever since writing this I have been craving hot sandwiches.

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  4. christy davis on October 6, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    I love it!! So funny!

    You should try The Lion King (it’s now out on DVD as of this week…sad I know). Not sure if the hyenas will scare him or not. You should also try The Incredibles or how bout Finding Nemo?

    Good luck!

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  5. Chunky Mama on October 6, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    Finding Nemo is a great suggestion, but I disagree with both The Lion King (lots of death), and The Incredibles (at least 50% of that movie involves missiles and a disgruntled fan killing off various superheros one by one).

    [Reply]

    thesweet Reply:

    Ditto on the death. And the Incredibles- too fast and loud (maybe when he is older). we tried Nemo but the sharks were s-c-a-r-y. He finished the movie but never asked for it again.

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  6. Chunky Mama on October 6, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    OH! A word of advice: Avoid “Up” at all costs!

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  7. Chunky Mama on October 6, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    Sorry, My phone won’t let me hit “reply…” But if he thought Nemo was scary, Kung Fu Panda might be over the top.
    My kids love “The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” and “The Heffalump Movie” as well.

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  8. Kelley on October 7, 2011 at 6:54 am

    Hahaha!! That is hilarious! I love that he thinks they are saying sandwiches. That is a much better word!

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  9. Ms G./Motpg on October 9, 2011 at 6:51 am

    I used to be very picky when my kids were little. I have to admit I was tickled when my girls became old enough to question why The Little Mermaid was swimming around in a sexy fish outfit without any supervision at 16.

    We watched ALOT of Pooh Bear. So much so that my 18 year old called yesterday to tell me it was ‘Windsday’ because we were having a Nor’Easter. I want to add that I think Mr. Rogers is a good choice too. Our PBS station still carries him. It would be nice if you could find it. Personally, Lady Elaine scared the crap out of me when I was a kid but I loved it and my middle daughter loved it too.

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  10. StephanieinSuburbia on October 9, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    We couldn’t avoid the TV thing, we’re just so hooked on it as a family. But so far the only thing that keeps Wee ‘Burb quiet is Bubble Guppies, and despite a dubious Spanish accent in one episode, it’s been relatively harmless. But I have to say, G movies can sneak up on you. There’s adult themes in there some kids pick up on. But hey, if all he got was sandwiches, crisis averted!

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  11. Leigh Ann on October 23, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Lol that’s awesome. The innocence of children. Check out Rio. We’ve had it a few weeks and have watched it almost every day. We were minimal tv too until late in my pregnancy with Zoe, and then after she was born? Well we never really went back to minimal.

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