There has been a lot of stress.
A lot of yearning for what is so close yet so far.
A lot of struggle to get past what I don’t love about this situation.
I love a good night’s sleep. I love that I might someday get one. I love the smell of new books. The skin just in front of Hayden’s ear. And the smell of a pot of homemade soup on the stove. I love having a vision and someone to share it with. I love having old friends who know what I am thinking even when I haven’t seen them in months or years. I love checking the mail, even when I find nothing but junk in the box. I love the way my great great grandmother’s gold ring looks on my finger. And the fact that I can’t get it off. I love my husband’s hands, with their sexy, long fingers. I love black coffee in the morning and red wine in the afternoon. I love that even though I am old enough to complain that it’s too loud, I can still rock it when I want to. I love the Southern California sky. I love the stars I can see from my new backyard. I love getting good news. And the thrill of sharing it with someone. I love that I am a neat freak- because somebody has to keep things under control. I love getting a text from Scott. I love hearing my little boy say I love you. I love throwing a party. I love throwing things away. I love the moment of meeting someone in the baggage claim- almost as much as I love coming home. I love going to bed early. I love rising before the sun to run. And coming home in time to see my husband off to work. I love that from time to time, I can still remember the look on his face when he saw me on our wedding day.