I Don’t Do New Years Resolutions, But…
“Clara will be here in twenty minutes. I’m going to go get ready.”
Ten minutes pass.
I clop/hobble out of the bedroom to go find a mirror, and Scott catches sight of me as I pass by.
Are you going to wear those shoes like that?
“Yeah!” (with false confidence) “It’s totally in right now!”
Those sandals? With socks?
“They do it in the Anthropologie catalog.”
I find a mirror and see that I do not even closely resemble an Anthropologie model but could easily pass for an aged Punky Brewster.
“FINE. I will just let my feet freeze, then.”
Ten more minutes pass. Tear-stained, I again clop/hobble out of the bedroom, this time wearing jeans and a Gap crewneck sweater (because it is my only long-sleeved sweater?) “dressed” up with earrings and metallic sandals, and I shut myself in the bathroom to apply some makeup. You know, so I don’t look sick.
Pleased with my facial transformation, I take a deep breath and emerge to grab my purse and jacket.
Scott catches sight of me as I pass by.
“OMG are you wearing whore lipstick?” “Is that new lipstick?”
No, I just never wear it because we never go out. I thought it might spice up my outfit a little. You know, kind of rocker with my black sweater.
“Oh. It’s just kind of dark.”
Not another word, please.
– – – – – – – – – –
Scott and I rarely go out, but every time we do a full-on fashion crisis ensues, especially when it is cold outside. Because the state of my winter wardrobe is sad with a capital S.
Closed-toe (or even peep toe, at least) heels? Negative.
Dressy sweater or long-sleeved top? Negative.
Dress that could be worn with tights? Negative.
So after the most recent dressing dilemma, Scott basically gave me an assignment to find something to wear. So that the next time we want to go out on a date like grownups or I get invited to a ladies luncheon I don’t have to borrow something to wear, and he doesn’t have to suffer through my painful getting ready process.
I don’t do New Years Resolutions, but I do like to make changes. So I have set some fashion goals for myself. And by putting them in writing, I am more likely to achieve them. Or at least go broke trying.
My 2012 Fashion Goals:
- Get some pumps. Black leather ones. Or maybe faux snakeskin. Pumps that fit my strangely calloused-yet-tender flat feet.
- Get a sweater. And NOT a “boyfriend” sweater.
- Get a dress. A black one that can be dressed up or down. A MACHINE WASHABLE dress (Designers, puh-leez. Since when is knit “dry clean only”?)
And if you have any ideas on how I can “dress up” my regular clothes without looking marmie or corporate, I am all ears.