Don’t Make Me Do It.

January 3, 2012

You!  Dorky man by the cheese!

You had better not be thinking of making small talk with me.

Don’t make me be snotty to you.

In fact, don’t even look at me.

That’s right, just walk away.

Back to the bread isle.

You!  In the white Mercedes!

Put down the phone and step on the gas.

There is such thing as a minimum speed limit.

Don’t make me road rage at you.

Don’t make me do it.

And you! Radio people!

You had better not be airing your sappy Saturday stories.

The ones about the working poor and adults with autism.

Don’t make me show up at yoga with a tear-stained face.

Don’t make me do it.

 

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6 Responses to Don’t Make Me Do It.

  1. Amanda Austin on January 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Don’t make me road rage at you. Hilarious! Love it. I’m totally going to start saying that at work.

    [Reply]

  2. Megan - Best of Fates on January 4, 2012 at 7:02 am

    Man, I love dorky cheese convos.

    You never know what new Gouda fact you’re gonna learn.

    [Reply]

  3. Erin on January 4, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Love it. Sometimes I pray to the grocery gods that the bitchy cashier who hates me not be working when I visit the store. They rarely listen.

    [Reply]

  4. Ashley {at} My Front Porch Swing on January 5, 2012 at 8:57 am

    Oh these are great!! The road rage.. I can so relate. And the sad commercials get me every time!

    [Reply]

  5. Ms G./Motpg on January 7, 2012 at 11:11 am

    hee hee, I had the first two lines in my reader and all I could think was, ‘Is she talking about my husband?’ : )

    [Reply]

  6. Stacey on January 8, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    There are so many reasons to road rage. I say stuff like this to other drivers the whole time I’m behind the wheel.

    [Reply]

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