The Necklace

June 7, 2012

I remember being small and snuggling up to her lap, fingering her squishy chest and long gold necklace.  She would give me a squeeze and shrug her shoulders as she smiled, and I knew I was safe and loved.

When I graduated from college she gave me a little wrapped box.  Inside was her necklace.  I fought tears of joy as I was filled with childhood memories of her wearing that necklace and was surprised to see that from my near-grown eyes, it really wasn’t as long as I had remembered.  It was perfect.

I loved the weightiness of it in my hands.  The tone of real gold against my tan, bony chest.  The story behind it.  Over the years I wore it every chance I got.

After her tragic death I felt like she had just slipped from my fingers.

If only I could squeeze her one more time.

Time passed… my boyfriend became my husband, we moved across the country, and then became parents.  But through it all I had her necklace.  Each time I put it on it made me feel beautiful and made me smile.

When we moved into our new house and began four months of renovations, wearing jewelry wasn’t very practical.  When things finally settled down I opened my jewelry box and reached for my gold necklace, but it wasn’t there.  I closed the box.  Opened it again.  But it still wasn’t there.

Overwhelmed by disbelief, anger, and sadness, I sobbed uncontrollably as I tore our bedroom apart looking for my necklace.  When I couldn’t find it anywhere I called my contractor, although I knew in my heart that none of his workers had taken it.

Just like her, it had slipped through my fingers.

If only I could wear it one more time.

 

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6 Responses to The Necklace

  1. Mandy on June 7, 2012 at 10:27 am

    I’m so sorry! This post is a heart-breaker. I lost my grandmother’s ring 20 years ago. I wore it everyday. I still miss it and feel a twinge of regret when I think of it.

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  2. Christy D on June 7, 2012 at 10:30 am

    OOhh no!!! That’s the so upsetting! I know how much I would cherish something given to me by a beloved family member and too lose it is heartbreaking. That tangible piece that somehow connects you to someone you’ve lost. I’m so sorry for you! But at least know that you still have memories, which no one could ever take from you & you could never lose them. Hope you feel better!

    Christy

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  3. Mom on June 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    My precious daughter,

    As those memories fill my heart, my eyes fill with tears, too! Just remember how much she loved you!!! And that she resides in Heaven(no jewelry required!!!) You will see her again, and that necklace will not be important.

    I love you!

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  4. Elly Lou on June 8, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Was merely sniffling at the end of that post but now your mom has me bawling. And have I mentioned lately the beauty of your writing?

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  5. carole miller on June 9, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    Don’t remember which necklace that was but your post made me cry too.

    I miss my mom and your grandmother! I have so few of her things. Time goes on. Hearts heal but we’re never the same. I lost your great-grandmother, Nettie’s engagement ring when Pawpaw gave it to me at her funeral. Oh well.

    Good memories. She loved God and is safe with Him forever & ever! I’m rambling but I mean Gran and Petie.

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  6. Laural Out Loud on June 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    I’m not a very sentimental person, but there are a few things I treasure, and would be distraught if they disappeared from my life. I’m so sorry that you lost your necklace! Hopefully the wonderful memories you have of it will take root and grow to be enough.

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