A Momentary Lapse of Parenting
Scott: “I thought kids weren’t supposed to get sick in the summer.”
Me: “Uh, what about last summer do you not remember?”
Summer sickness sucks, but there is one teeny good part. When my child lays on the sofa watching television for ten hours I can do a lot of things between popcicles pillow fluffing.
Dust the living room furniture.
Clean all window sills.
Clean dining area window and chandelier globes.
Do one down dog, three plank-to-chaturanga-back-to-planks, a one-sided double pigeon and one childs pose.
Mow the front lawn.
Take 400 mg ibuprofen and on heating pad for ten minutes.
Wash dishes from breakfast.
Clean up dog poop.
Water both front and back lawns.
Prune plants and pull a few weeds.
Eat lunch at 10:30.
Do four loads of laundry.
Clean canned lights and pendant with my Wanda Wooley duster.
Scrub both sinks and toilets.
Sweep and hose down patio.
Eat 1/4 bag kettle chips.
Sweep guest room.
Sweep living room and kitchen.
Order Hayden new skinny jeans.
Read lots of blogs and debate about leaving comments.
Decide not to leave comments.
Eat a bowl of tortilla chips with mashed avocado.
Wash dishes from lunch.
Brush the dog.
Baby-talk the dog.
Clean up more dog poop.
Drink two glasses of wine and call it a day.